no cop

apparently i display some kind of aura about me that makes others think i'm a cop. Seriously, i've had several people in the last few days ask if i was a police officer. it's happened at the gym, wal-mart, and the market. maybe it's the mustache? or maybe it's the look of power? i'm going with mustache.

christmas

i remember growing up, christmas would start so effing early. 7 o'clock was about right. i'm loving christmas more and more as the years go on. a couple years ago we didn't want to worry about waking up early or anything, so we all opened all our presents christmas eve. everything. that was great. this year we decided christmas would happen just whenever everyone woke up. that wasn't until about 1030. but then mom had to run out to our aunt's house and take care of her cats. so really, this was the latest christmas ever, we didn't even begin until about 1130ish. and i was totally fine with that. loved it. i was also totally fine that it wasn't a white christmas. thank goodness it wasn't white. it was 40 degrees with not a hint of snow. grass was still greenish yellow. it was the first christmas in a long time i can remember that we didn't have a fire going in the fireplace, there was no need. it was so warm.
of course the weather in burley doesn't last that long. 2 days later as i was leaving, it was in the 20's and the usual 15-20 mph wind was hawking. yeah, it was brick. to me, burley is paradise. the hot, the warm, the freezing bawls cold. i love it all. every second i'm home reminds me of that. memory after memory floods back, those reminders help too.

nachos, not mine

christmas break, time to completely relax, right? oh, that's being done excellently. The last several days, how do me and the brohas unwind? um, we go to 7/11 or maverick late at night and get us some sodas and nachos. though, i'm reaching my limit. my gut is in a serious coma. waking up sick with a gut ache isn't what i'm wanting. so i'm faced with 2 choices. i can either stop getting these super greasy nachos late at night, or i can continue until i've built up that resistance/tolerance to them. yeah. it's christmas break.

                                     Heaven on Earth, Hell in the Belly

another one down

this semester has finally come to an end. so of course it's time to look back and see all the things i've done/accomplished during that time. and so the list goes on. I...
wrote over 100 pages worth of papers. worked with 2 businesses and their PR campaigns. started this blog! got 5 new pair of shoes ;) Did my own networking efforts. saw two of my favorite bands. traveled...a lot. this semester alone i've been to baltimore, Washington dc, NYC, Idaho (home sweet home), Las Vegas (3 separate times), Los Angeles (love road trips), and there's many more trips lined up for next semester. including another trip back to NYC. another highlight was throwing another kick A columbus day party with the bounce house again. a few different urban camping adventures. had an amazing time with intramural sports this year, our football team was great, and the co-ed "Brothers and Sisters" team was way fun. The best part was watching cheri dominate. I was able to go to the temple almost every week. My goal was once a week, but then school and life got me busy and time was hard to spare. Still, i treasured every time i went. I continued the tradition of hiking Mt. Timpanogos for the third time in as many years. this time with many more people. i was still able to golf several rounds early on in the semester. Something i've been missing for years, until now. I had a mustache. and then it went away, and now it's back.
I think the best part of this semester was just learning. Learning more about others, life, God, and myself. It'd be a complete waste if i hadn't learned anything. An even more waste if i didn't act on the things i've learned.

found when it wants to be

i am under the firm conviction that whenever you lose something, you find it only when that item wants to be found. a couple months ago i lost my chapstick and started looking in every pant pocket i could. nothing. so i just went and bought some new chapstick. a week later i lost that one too. again, i looked everywhere and couldn't find it. so i just settled and knew that they'd both be found when they wanted to be. well, today i put on a pair of slacks for a class presentation, and sure enough there was one of the chapsticks. then, i opened my backpack and saw the other one. i had checked those pants before, and i had been in and out of my backpack several times and saw nothing. this time however, my chapsticks wanted to be found, and sure enough they were.
another instance that proves this is last week Boy was looking for a text book. and frantically looking for it because he needed it bad. after he had looked everywhere for a long while me and tom both told him not to worry. it'd appear when it wanted to. the next morning, there the book lie, right on Boy's desk. on top of everything. and i'm pretty sure Boy had checked that very spot at least half a dozen times.
over the years i've learned to not get frustrated when i lose things. eventually they'll appear. but not until they want to.

center st. and 700 east

right now there's a few things that i really want to do. all been done before, and i've got one of those burning desires to do it again. on my list i've got urban camping, sledding down the deep tunnel up provo canyon, getting some rt. 44 cokes at sonic, going fishing, hiking somewhere, snowshoeing, and traveling. there's gotta be a way to incorporate all of that into something, right?

for those of you blessed enough to have been urban camping, you'll recognize that this is the site. my favorite.
and yes, that is a round-about. perfect for camping.

=w= in L.A.

Okay, besides being with family at home, what better way is there to spend Thanksgiving Break than by going to a couple of Weezer concerts in LA? That's exactly what me tom boy and cade all decided a couple months ago. Weezer is going on their "memories" tour playing their blue album on friday night and their pinkerton album saturday. So we bought our tickets a while back and have been looking forward to these shows this with eager anticipation.
Our journey began thanksgiving night when we left Provo at 1115. We got in cade's car, with me driving and we headed out. Made it all the way to Vegas without stopping. We got there around 3 in the morning, gassed up and then got right back on the road and drove to LA, getting there at 7am. my favorite line of the drive came between vegas and LA, when everyone was getting tired, and boy wanted to prove that he could stay up all night and be fine driving. so he says, "Come on, pass the rock to Boy, and let him prove himself." it was so funny. and eventually we made it. We were all so tired from driving straight through the night that we went to where we were planning to stay (just some girl's place that was a coworker of a friend) and knocked on the door, only to find it locked. After trying to call her and text her and getting no responses, we decided to go hang out somewhere that would be open, the mall. After all, it was black friday. so we went to the mall, only to realize that Arcadia is extremely asian. as we were walking around the place we all felt like giants. i wasn't tipped off at all to how asian it was going to be, because the place didn't smell like fish and fireworks nearly as much as i thought it would. around noon we were able to finally get ahold of the girl we were staying at, and so we went to her place and all just crashed, heavy on the floor for several hours. waking up just in time to go eat and then go to the first night of the concert.

                                        Boy shows ya just how tired we all were.
The show was incredible. It's been two years since i've seen weezer, and it was so good to be back. no kind of substance needed to enjoy weezer. ;)  they definitely know how to perform. the concert got over at midnight, so we went back and slept, and slept alot. none of us even woke up saturday before 1030. that was great, and much needed. we kind of just bummed around watching football and then watched the BYU/Utah heartbreak of a game. Cade had some VIP backstage tickets so we had to drop him off early, and while he was away, me tom and boy went on Brother adventures exploring the city. we went to the hollywood sign and hiked around there watching tourists come through on there segways. classic.

We also hung out downtown around the Chinese theater and saw all those people dressed up as cartoon villains and superheros. i wanted a net gun so i could shoot spiderman. we then decided it was about time we head off to the concert. it's at the Gibson Ampitheatre in universal studios. we were walking towards the venue about an hour early, and saw some old guy watching the gate to universal studios. we thought for sure we'd be able to sneak in, and sure enough we did. so we went on some haunted house terror walk through and then found the simpson's ride and went on that. it was so fun to be there for a brief time enjoying the theme park. Then we went off towards the venue and when we walked through the gate again, we just kind of smirked and said thanks to the old guy watching the gate, that didn't even realize we had snuck in.we then went to the concert and just basked in the sounds of Pinkerton. another great performance. and loved it.

after the show got out at midnight again, we decided it'd be better to cut our drive in half, by driving straight to vegas that night. so we did. again i got behind the wheel and drove to vegas.we got there around 530 in the morning and stayed at a dear friend's house. slept for a few hours and then went to church with her and saw some other dear friends. it was nice to see and talk with the sundell's for a bit. They're just great people. we started hearing warnings about a huge storm tat was going to be coming through, so we wanted to get on the road quick. well, not without stopping at farmbasket first. gotta have those clucketo's and gobblers. so we started driving and had no difficulties getting to st. george. but then it took us 2 1/5 hours to get to cedar city. and another couple hours to get to parawon where we met up with taylor again and when she got her car, i jumped in with her to ride the rest of the way. there were so many effing people on the roads that it was ridiculous. you'd come around a bend and see tail lights as far as the eye could see. and then you'd pass car after car after car that had slid off the road. so many people. or overturned semi's. the roads weren't even that bad, people were just being retarded. the ride home was fun. extremely long, but fun. in all, it took us 9 hours to get home from vegas. leaving there at noon, and getting to provo around 930.
still, so worth it. so worth the crazy drive to see one of God's greatest bands. so worth it to go on these brother adventures that we all enjoy. We've now got to start planning the next trip.

home

i drive the 3 hours to get home, and be there for barely a day. and it's so worth it every single time.
Home is...
joy. accents. taco bandido. the train bridge. the balcony at the burley theater. bountiful basket. steaks, always steaks. pears. the parents. midnight train crossings. business from those you trust. cold, seriously freezing. my ice chamber of a room that i love. first real snow of the year. mavericko. senior petrol. racquetball club. friendly faces. no judgements. freedom. relaxing. couching it. lots of burley smells. familiarity. being recognized. memories.
Home is everything.

spoykin

The other day I pulled one of my favorite sweaters out of the closet. I was eager to wear it, I haven’t worn it in over a year. When I pulled it  out, I noticed the collar was all muffed up and looking flabby. Ever notice how when you hang up a collared shirt or sweater, sometimes it gets all mashed up between other clothes, and when left for a year it’s fold is in the wrong place? Yeah, that just happened. One side of the collar was right where it was suppose to be. The other side was way too high up and not looking good. I couldn’t think of a name for this problem. After asking several people, nobody knew what it was called. So, I’ve decided to call it spoykin. That’s when your collar is not cooperating. It’s “spoykinned” so bad that you just can’t wear it, and the only option you have is to wash it a couple times and then iron the flat fold out. major hassle. not cool.

I.A.P

My guilty pleasure is the Biggest Loser. I learn more about happy living from that program than i do from almost anything else. My secret wish is to someday be on the show, though not really because then that means i'd have become the size and shape of a small city's water tower; and that isn't part of my wish. In this season i've learned something from Brendan, that i've incorporated into my "Individualized Awesomeness Plan." Essentially what he said was that he couldn't love someone else, because he didn't love himself.

This is absolutely true. If you don't love yourself, and love every part of yourself, then when someone comes along loving you, you have these inadequate thoughts and feel insecure. almost as if, "why would this person love me? I'm not that great." You need to be able to love every part of yourself, or at least love that you're working on things. Don't be afraid, it's just love that we're falling in. I love myself, but i don't FULLY love EVERY PART of who i am. there are always things to work on. Things are always changing. CHANGING FOR THE BETTER. And that, I love.

daylight savings...seriously?

all i've been hearing lately is the love for daylight savings time because "it's like you get to sleep in for an extra hour!" ok, great. enjoy that for 1 day, and then you're already adjusted. way to use it on sunday. somehow i can't take advantage of this day. i set my alarm so i could wake up sunday morning at 8:14, yet i just naturally woke up at 7:33 (still a great time, by the way). hmmm, go figure. sure, you get to 'sleep in' an hour, but what about it being dark before you've even had the thought to eat dinner. it's dark when you get out of church. it's dark when you're leaving work or school. I'd gladly give up a couple hours of sleep to keep my days light. what about in a few months when we 'lose' that beloved hour of sleep? can we just go without switching our time. These are my thoughts every single "fall back."

I wish I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand, and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours.That's daylight savings....

kWh

In Utah County it costs 6 cents to run an appliance for 1 kilowatt hour. my air conditioner in my window, when ran for 1 hour, uses 1/2 kilowatts. i run it 4 hours at night when i sleep. that's 12 cents a night. 30 days in a month means my lone a-con is raising our utilities bill by $3.60. Seriously? not a big deal. get over yourself, because yes, i am still pushing the blankets off me with it being 40 degrees outside and my windows left open.

Belated B-Day to Bob Ross

i'd feel like a horrible fan if i didn't wish a belated birthday to bob ross. He is the reason for my sunday afternoon naps for years. i remember coming home from church and, with my brothers, all sprawling out in front of the TV downstairs, turning it to PBS, and watching The Joy of Painting with Bob Ross. His birthday was this past weekend, and i just have to give him a shout out. He would have been 68 this past friday.
              Bless your soft hands for the gentle strokes you mesmerizingly and methodically tickled the canvas. Your soothing voice was like a symphony conductor waving me to sleep. That hair of yours was beyond any 3D seeing magic eye that i could get lost in a trance in. And those powder blue shirts you always wore painted the sky's backdrop to my afternoon nap dreams. Thank you Bob Ross, happy birthday. And may you continue to create those landscapes that induce peace and serenity to the souls of all who gaze upon your canvas.

"I started painting as a hobby when I was little. I didn't know I had any talent. I believe talent is just a pursued interest. Anybody can do what I do."

simple things

The only thing better than leaving town for a few days with a clean house, is coming home to a clean house.

Unfortunately, living with 9 guys, this doesn't happen often...

1 year later...

October 22-23, 2009 was the worst couple days of my life, and i figure it's now time to write about it and let others see what exactly those days were like. It's been a year later, and those were the worst days of my life, and this has by far been the hardest year of my life. My dear friend Robi was quickly taken from us.

                                           he was always smiling, and making others smile. always.

The fall semester of 2009 quickly became my favorite couple months ever. I was living with my closest friends and family all around me. There were 21 of us in 3 houses. we called the houses the Nina, Pinta, and the Santa Maria. Collectively we were known as the Armada. One weekly tradition that was favored by all was our pancake breakfast thursdays. Me, Robi, Durfey, and Tom all had no classes on thursdays, so we'd be outside with couches, griddles, waffle irons, loud music, and more, cooking up pancakes for all our friends and everyone else that would walk by on the street. we'd often call out to every person that was on their way to campus. usually we just got weird looks. but we'd also get lots of people to stop by and have breakfast. because none of us had classes on thursday, we'd be outside all day long. pancake breakfast would usually turn in to hamburger lunch, and then chicken kabob dinners. thursdays were the best day of the week.

                                            with a bunch of friends during pancake breakfast

Thursday October 22nd was just like every other thursday. the night before, me, tom, durf, and robi all slept out in front of the tv watching a movie. we woke up at our usual time for breakfast 7:55, and we all quickly noticed robi sleeping in the love sac. it seemed as though the love sac had swallowed his legs. we saw a head and torso, but no legs. so the other 3 of us quickly (sarcastically, and probably annoyingly) became way concerned with robi asking if he was okay, and kept pointing out that robi had lost his legs. we all quickly got up and started moving things out for another (what he expected to be) normal pancake breakfast.

                                        durf wore his wings, robi found his legs, and I was Sam

Pancake breakfast was great. We had all the usuals stop by. and then we watched all the other usuals that just walked by no matter how loud and bluntly we yelled. that was half the fun, just trying to get more people over. trying to get new people every time. after several hours of us just being outside, carefree, loving life, we decided to go longboarding. Durfey had told us of some monster hills in lindon that he'd done growing up. he mentioned it about a month earlier, but it was just today that we decided we should actually head up that way. so we waited for Sean to get done with class around 130 and then had to stop at sonic. it was just about happy hour, and we love our Rt. 44 cokes.

                                              Robi, Durf, and Tom at sonic during happy hour.

While at sonic, Sean put a "50cent corndog" sign on tom's back and we all laughed. we pointed it out to the girl that brought out our food and she told tom that he looked delicious. when he found it, we all laughed even harder as he laughingly got mad. it was great.
We then headed up to Lindon to find the big hills. After about a 20 minute drive, we found some. we found some things that were incredibly steep looking. sean didn't want to ride because he had just recently wrecked and was still recovering. Tom wouldn't ride because he's already broken a collar bone, wrist, and elbow from longboarding. And i didn't want to ride because i knew there was no way i'd make it down. so i drove robi's truck right behind him and Durf as they were going down the hills. The whole reason we were out was because Robi had just bought himself some brand new trucks that were super sensitive and could turn on a dime. they were ridiculous. Robi and Durf did a couple big hills with relative ease. then we went up to a different hill.
When we got to the top of the next hill and looked down, we realized that only Durf had grabbed his helmet. We normally do wear helmets when we ride. but today, in our rush to leave, Robi had forgotten to get his. He said he'd be just fine, at the top of the hill. Even after Durf was saying he had a buddy just a couple blocks away we could go get a helmet from. Robi still insisted he'd be okay. He did one more hill and then we went to the next one over. it was a great looking hill. obviously steep, but also a pretty smooth road.
Robi and Durf started going down it, with me tom and sean following real close in the truck. we were maybe 15-20 feet behind them, making sure no cars would come from behind us and hit them. a couple hundred hards down the road they were gaining lots of speed. Durfey was going much quicker and seemed to be flying down the hill. we were much closer to Robi now and watched him, going 34 mph catch the speed wobbles and have the board shoot out from under him to the right, making him go down straight on his back and head. He crashed at 4:05. Before he had even come to a complete rolling stop, me tom and sean were all at his side holding him. he was still breathing, but barely. I immediately called 911 and had them coming up. i also started shouting to some people doing yardwork and they ran inside and sent out a lady, Becky Walker. She was a registered nurse and was then helping Robi breathe and just doing what she could until the paramedics arrived. Thankfully, the paramedics were there within 45 seconds of me placing the call. Within 5 minutes after that, there was a helicopter ready to take Robi. Though it wasn't for at least 20 minutes that they loaded him in Life Flight. Before they could load him in the Helo, they had to stabilize his breathing, and that was taking a long time. Right after i called 911, i grabbed Robi's phone and called (his parents) Kris and Nancy. They asked where they were going to take him, and told me they'd jump on Del's plane and fly right up.
Durfey made it all the way to the bottom of the hill, and then heard sirens, so he hid in the church parking lot. He thought someone had called the police because we were doing something illegal, or who knows what. But then saw it was ambulances, he ran up the hill to see the heartbreak. There were 3 or 4 firetrucks that showed up. A few ambulances, and several several police cars and trucks. When Durfey got up to us, we were all very somber, but also all felt the impression that Robi would be okay. I've been with someone when they wreck before and had a massive concussion, and that's what i thought this would be. In the back of my head i kept thinking "what if he doesn't live through this?" But i didn't think that was actually going to happen. I thought he'd be in the hospital for a couple weeks and then be just fine. None of us really thought that this crash had just taken the captain of our Armada. I don't know how we were, but somehow we seemed a bit jovial through this. sneaking pictures of all the commotion thinking Robi would appreciate the hullabaloo he had caused. We wanted to document it.
After Robi was flying away in the Life Flight, sweet Becky Walker then came and tended to us. telling us we needed to go get something to eat and telling us a few other things we needed to do because we were in shock. so after things were being cleared up and we knew where they were taking Robi, we loaded up in the truck and drove down the hill to Macey's and got some candy and sodas and things. We then started heading up to the University of Utah hospital to meet up with Robi and his family there. the four of us were bombarded by calls and texts from everyone catching wind of what had happened and wanted to know. We all were so frustrated with it that we just turned our phones off. it was getting very overwhelming. we would fill people in when we knew more. but there was already a large group of people that were headed up to the hospital to meet us there. Robi was a huge part in everyone's life, and everyone wanted to be there for him for when he woke up. The 4 of us then got to the hospital and just waited in the waiting room area and were met by Mikey and Sharlen, and also Steven (Robi's brother in law) and his wife. After lots more waiting, Steven came in and told us he had heard from the doctor and said it wasn't looking good at all. Despite hearing this, we all thought he'd still make it through. We've seen Robi be in complete control of everything he's ever done. We've seen him pull through some situations where there was absolutely no feasible way that he should have. We've seen him do the impossible countless times. Why should now be any different? We met up with everyone else that came to the hospital and waited up in the head trauma intensive care waiting area. SO many people showed up. It was incredible. Steven and his wife then came and met us all there and told us that Robi wouldn't make it. He suffered too much trauma to his brain, and wouldn't be able to recover. This is when all of us just broke down. I think there were about 20 of us and every single one of us just collapsed into tears. we all kind of scattered throughout the floor weeping. our group was found in every single corner and hallway crying and sobbing for the loss. we then went around gathering everyone back and sharing in monstrous hugs and more outpours of tears. i've never heard anything in my life more traumatic and heartbreaking than that news there.
I then went around calling all the other people that needed to be filled in. Calling all my dear friends who also knew and cherished Robi. I thought it was impossible news to hear, delivering it was even worse. I had to do it several times that night. More than i could bear. after the phone calls, several more people were now on their way up to see Robi one last time.
We were then told that we'd be able to go in and see Robi one last time and say our goodbyes. There was a long line of us waiting in the hallway. Robi's parents were in the room with him, there for everyone as they came in. As me and tom were sitting in the hallway, crying, we saw our cousin Paul walk by. He's working his residency at the U hospital right now, and was actually one of the people that was tending to Robi. There were several accidents that night, and Paul didn't know which one we were there for. so he couldn't tell us anything. That was hard to see him, and know that he was helping our "invincible" friend.
Me and Thomas went in together to see Kris, Nancy, and Robi. It was heart wrenching. I had to tell them that i was the one that called them. Had to tell them the story of how it all happened. Had to answer all their questions. It was so difficult. And then it was time to take Robi's hand, give him a hug, tell him how much i loved him and would miss him. we were all a complete mess in that room. I don't know how kris and nancy did it, but they were absolute stalwarts and were there comforting us as we were in the room. The long embraces they gave us, and the comforting words were so heartfelt. I will never forget that exchange that took place in that room in that, the darkest moment of my life. Saying goodbye to Robi was impossible. He lay there so calm, so peaceful. Just like he was all the other moments i've known him. Somehow he still seemed to exude a feeling of control. He was prepared, just like he was in every other adventure we'd encountered.
After saying our goodbyes, we didn't know what to do. Which was the case for the next several weeks. we were all so lost. all so confused. so we all went back to the Santa Maria and had a fire in the backyard to which 30 people were there waiting. it was now easily past 1 AM, but being so lost and confused, it didn't matter. We didn't know what to do. so we did what was comfortable, and sat around the fire with each other. using every single shoulder that was there to lean and cry on. that was an impossible night. we had several people all pile in to the TV room later so that nobody would sleep alone.
The way everyone bonded from this, and through this is indescribable. It's not until you go through something like this do you really realize how great those people are around you.
Robi taught me several things. He taught me countless things. His sudden passing just teaches me one more thing. He teaches me that i've got to be ready in all situations. Robi was living his life acceptable before God. I use him as an example of how i should live my life. Robi is the reason i live the way i do. Robi is my driving force now, to do everything i do. Everything i do needs to get me somewhat closer to returning to him. The captain of our Armada, went home to create the shiz out of worlds with the original Armada leader, Christopher Columbus himself. Someday i'll return there too, and i'll have Robi there to show me around, show me the secrets and congratulate me in a life well lived. Someday i'll have Robi with me to continue our adventures. And for that moment, i can not wait...

productivity and fun can co-exist

This past weekend i went to washington dc and also new york. i had my fall break, and about a month and a half ago, i decided i wanted to do something great for the break. so i bought my plane ticket and just looked forward to it for weeks. lately i've been thinking, and kind of getting slightly discouraged about what i'm going to do after i graduate. my desire is to be working in one of three choices doing public relations. my locations are New York City, Washington DC and also Chicago. i didn't know exactly how to get to these places. so i used my trip to better understand. I shot out some cold contact e-mails to some firms in DC and NYC just hoping for a response, and hoping to schedule some informational interviews. surpisingly, i got more than i thought. People were willing to meet and just sit down and talk. It was great to do some networking and get my foot in the door.

i flew in to DC late wednesday night and my stallion of a friend blake behnke picked me up. it was absolute bliss to see him after a few months. and just relish in the conversation about life, the whole drive back. the next morning we just hung out a bit and slowly got ready. it was a beautiful rainy day in the district. I've missed the east coast rain, and was looking forward to spending the day in it. my first interview was at 1:00 with VOX Global. Then met with Fleishman-Hilliard. Both meetings were very encouraging and opened my eyes as to what i need to do exactly to better my shot of making it east.

It was then that i appreciated the despair and discouragement i'd been feeling the past couple weeks. It was then that i was able to really find hope, and excitement for my future. I've learned that we need to love the moments of doubt and darkness in our lives, because what comes after, the light and knowledge, is what really gets us places. realize you're in the dark, and anxiously look for the lesson that comes. 


The rest of the day blake was in class, so i had the entire day to walk around the city and just explore, take it all in, enjoy, and smile. being out there made me truly happy. i wasn't necessarily even doing anything, but just being there made my heart tickle, my mouth smile, and my eyes beam. i've been to DC a few times before, so i've seen all the touristy stuff, but figured i'd go do the loop anyways. then i spent the last few hours of the day in the business centers. I loved just being in that environment. It was great to see all the sights, but it was especially nice to sit down in a park and read a book.

I really did enjoy being in DC for the brief time i was there. I then caught that magical BoltBus early early friday morning so i could head up to New York. I made it there mid-morning and met up with my dear friend tati, and a couple others. After serving my mission in New York, and going back a couple times since, i didn't feel a need to go sightseeing. I've seen it all before. but i went with tati, aubrey, lacey and melanie and saw the sights anyways. and loved every minute of it. it was still so much fun.

                                    i can't tell you how uncomfortable this made tati. very funny.

It seriously was fun to see everything again. All i needed was to just be there in the city, and i'd be having fun. My entire list of things to "see" all consisted of food places. I had to have authentic new york pizza, i needed the 'nuts-4-nuts' stands, some serendipity, Sylvia's fried chicken and waffles, snapple (by the caseload), mr. softy ice cream, desserts from all over, and much much more. I was simple and easy to please. so hanging out with these girls (often referred to as the 'girls weekend') was a true delight. they were lots of fun, and put up with me the whole time. by the end, i was trying hard to fit in with the girls more, but still just couldn't pull off that vibe.

One thing i've always laughed at, and been disgusted at, is when people walk their dogs through the city and the parks, and they have to pick up the poops after the dog lays dirt. i laugh because i think in my head as i watch it, "if aliens were watching this right now, and had no idea about our culture, who would they think is the master? the one on the leash? or the one picking up the poops?" you tell me...

i saw this at washington square, and just HAD to take a picture of it. i couldn't help it!

One of the greatest parts of the trip was seeing a couple friends i graduated from high school with. it's seriously been 7 years since i've seen these people. on friday night i met up with Shane York. he was in my ward growing up and we played basketball and went on many camping trips together. he'd been in new york for 3 years now and i had no idea. We went to an awesome chinese place for dinner and just caught up. I couldn't believe it. Then on saturday i had lunch with another true friend, Frank Frelier. We went to a little hip sandwich place and just caught up. again, it's been 7 years. I couldn't help but smile and feel slighty jealous of all his accomplishments and just the cool things he's done. What a champion. it's great to see how people branch out, from tiny old Burley Idaho, and make it to New York City and can be successful. I love it.

                                          me and frank where we met up, at grand central station

a couple of the true tender moments i experienced out there were stopping by my "greenie" apartment in china town while i was on my mission. it was fun to tell the girls, that my first night on the mission, my trainer left the keys in the apartment, so i had to jump up the fire escape ladder and climb up to our 4th floor apartment and crawl through the window. Well, i thought it was the 4th floor window, really i was on the 3rd floor, and opened the wrong window. oops. i'm sure those people were surprised when i was half way through the window.

                                            Greenie apartment. 117 mott street. just off canal street

another one of the truly tender moments was getting to go back to harlem to see a family i taught. It is roberta gilyard's family. her and her 6 (now 7) kids karena, joshua, isiah, aaron, aaron (yes, another aaron. goes by travis), Keynia (kiki), and the recent addition being selwin. I spent 6 months in harlem and for the entire time they were an integral part of my missionary life. it was absolutely incredible to hang out with them and catch up. the first thing they said was "damn you got big!!" felt good to be back.

While a missionary, i never actually felt threatened going through harlem and the bronx. I guess having that missionary name tag, and especially the mantle, makes ya feel safe. i was threatened all the time, though never actually felt threatened. this past weekend, within 5 minutes of me being in the Harlem hood, i was yelled at 3 times, and threatened at each of those. apparently being gone for a couple years doesn't fix the racial hatred. i was called the white devil, demon, white satan, among other great things. i won't lie, i actually did feel a little sketched out after a bit. That place was fun to go visit, though i won't be living there. that's for sure. while in the Bronx i made a trip to my mecca. before i die, i will see the Yankees play in the world series. Unfortunately, while i was there, the yankees were playing in texas, so i went to the stadium while the game was on, ate lunch in the Hard Rock Yankee stadium, and watched the game with about 100 other fans. it was lots of fun to feel the unity going on in there. it was frustrating to watch them lose, but great to have that experience of being at the Yankee Stadium Temple.

                                                  someday i'll see a world series game here...

this trip truly was just what i needed, and just what i wanted. i couldn't have asked for it to go any better! i loved eating at Sylvia's in harlem, getting the fried chicken and waffles. that place has so much soul in it. there was some outstanding live music going on and i could have sworn it was gladys knight. there was enough heart and soul in that place to slightly elevate hell itself. slightly.
i loved being in the city. being surrounded by thousands of people everywhere i went. i loved riding on the subway sandwiched between others. i loved the smells, as putrid as some were, there were also some nose tingling sensations that i would give anything to have with me forever. i loved going to church with my Harlem family and feeling that inseparable spirit there. i loved hearing the speakers say good morning over the pulpit and the entire congregation responding with a hello. i loved hearing them say "aks" in the sacramental prayers and not "ask." i love feeling the spirit and love that just radiates out of that place. i loved feeling completely at home.
i loved being in central park and the allure and beauty it offers. i loved seeing familiar faces. i loved every second of being there.
i'll be back there soon. real soon. i'll make New York City a giant part of my life. it already has been, and it continues to be so. thank you everyone for making my trip absolutely amazing!

goals

goals are something you set for yourself that are completely dependant on you. They're something that can't be influenced by anyone else. i have lots of goals to make every part about me better. My goals are all dependant on me, and will be fulfilled. What goals do you have to make yourself better? are they goals, or just aspirations and pleasant wishes? make it a goal. make it something that you actually control.

daily sunrise

Do enough traveling to not get bored, enough good to sleep at night, enough cooking to call myself a chef and enough networking to have a viable chance at whatever I want to do.

outlook

COURAGEOUS in all situations, GRACIOUS in all things. 


I've developed a new theory on life. It's my own personal I.A.P. My Individualized Awesomeness Plan. It's my way of becoming better. This is just part of it. A big part of it.

i (heart) NY

I need to be in NYC next year. The more i think about it, the more excited i get, and the more i want to be there. i see something, i want it. i want it, i'll get it. I've now seen myself in new york, and i want it. I'ma do anything and everything i can to put myself there. I think it's time to be selfish and do exactly what i want. is it bad to not think of anyone else with my decision to be there? i don't think so. I'm not letting anyone depend on me. This is my hope, my dream, and soon my reality. I crave the New York lifestyle. Right now i want that more than anything else in my life.

Everybody ought to have a 'lower east side' in their life. i want mine. i will get back there.

the great robino

today was robi's 25th birthday. the first birthday i've had to go through since he moved to heaven. the whole day has been rough. I've been wearing my shirt very similar to the one that he wore all the time. i had it made. it's a yellow shirt with purple cursive font that says "ROBISON" across it. i love it. i started the day off by going to the temple. just really wanted to feel close to him, and felt that was a good place to be. And it was. to be honest, i don't know that i was ready for it. I'm not much of a cryer, but i've cried a shiz ton this past year over robi. There's constant hourly reminders even to this day that bring a joyous curved smile to my lips, while also bringing a bit of a glistening tear to my eye. there isn't a day that goes by that i don't think about you robi. not even a few hours pass that you don't cross my mind. it was great to celebrate robi's birthday tonight by getting 37 of us and going to winger's. Its something we've done dozens of times with robi, ordering the all you can eat wings. this has been the hardest year of my life, and it still hasn't even been a full year. one thing i do love is how open this entire group of friends is. we talk about robi as though he's just on vacation, and we can call him up anytime. that's really what it feels like. he isn't gone for good. i can just give him a call anytime, right? and when i pull out my phone to call or text him, i'm quickly reminded that we don't have the same cell phone provider, and God uses a different kind of antenna system, so i can't talk to Robi. I'm constantly wishing i could fast forward my life so i can get to Robi sooner, and have him take me around heaven, showing me all the ins and outs of that place and teaching me what to do and where to go.
Someday, someday i'll be there. Someday our adventures will continue. Someday we can create the shiz out of worlds together and laugh the whole time doing so.
I love you Robison Sundell, and all you've taught me. All you've given me, and for being one of the greatest blessings to my life. you always have been, and continue to do so. You give me greater reason for doing what's right, now. One love buddy. Always thinking of you.

pelican

a wonderous bird is a pelican,
can hold more food in his beak than his belly can.
got enough food in his beak
to last him a week.
and i just don't know how the hell he can.

Mt. Timpanogos

I consider myself an avid hiker. i've done lots of it growing up. a few years i started a new tradition, with my roommate devin, of hiking mt. timpanogos. it's now been done the same weekend, 3 years in a row. my first time was my most vivid, and want to put up the memoirs about it right after we got done. later, i'll also include this years journey. it keeps getting better every year. that's what draws me back time and time again.

Mt. Timpanogos 2008

here's just a few samples of our 15 hour adventure on Mount
Timpanogos. We launched at the Aspen trail head Friday night at 7:30
pm and enjoyed the beautiful scenery as we pushed ourselves pretty
hard through the first few miles. It soon got dark and we fell
victims of the moon, it actually lit things up quite well. Little did
we know how extremely impatient we would become for the
sunrise...anyway we continued our climb up the 22 switchbacks that
brought us up and over one mountainside and into the upper timp basin
where the trail flattened off a little ways until we reached the base
of the ginormous timp ridge. It was at this point that we began to
worry about how our night was going to turn out. We were experiencing
cold 40+ mph winds and did Not anticipate that kind of weather. we didn't bring clothes that would help us survive the night, and we were quickly becoming quite nervous. It was 11:30 pm and it became clear that we needed to start seriously scouting a place to sleep for a few hours. We knew we would be getting back up at around 4:00 to make the 2 hour climb up to the summit and really wanted to give our legs a break and our eyes a rest. We continued up the trail thinking we'd eventually run across a nice place free of rock, but we never did find a flat, smooth place to spend some of the night. Devin wasn't going to take another step further
until we had secured a place when I shouted down at him that i
thought i had found something. We saw an old shelter that had been
built in 1959 out of rock and cement, it had gaps and holes in it but
we didn't care, we were happy to have found something that for the most
part shielded us from the winds. We went inside and eventually went
to sleep. It was a sleepless night for both of us, I dozed several
times but only for 10-15 minutes before I would wake up to wind gusts
and devin moving around trying to find a comfortable position. Our
sleeping bags worked pretty good at keeping the cold out, except for
the ice-cold concrete floor we were sleeping directly on. We were
moving around a lot, we'd begin a conversation...and finish it 10 min
later, then continue it 15 min later with chattering teeth, goosebumped skin and so on. 4:00 am finally crept around and we were anxious to get out of there and start hiking so we could warm up a bit. Walking out of that cold barren shelter with no rest and noticing no moon to guide our steps was a dreadful
experience. We had a small flashlight for the two of us to share as
we were about to start hiking in very dangerous territory - cliffs,
unstable shale and rock, and spring runoff that would occasionally
deceive us and cause us to deviate off course (the runoff would
resemble a trail and we would mistakenly follow the wrong path at
times). We put all of the clothing on we possibly could (some flannel pajama bottoms and a sweater i found on the trail) and headed up to the top of timp ridge. With freezing cold hands - one occupying a dinky flashlight and the other wiping vomit off of my sleeve. I grit my teeth as I looked at the top of the ridge and told myself I was gonna give this my all and if I didn't make it then so be it. at that point it was so cold, i didn't care.
Thankfully devin had me (he began calling me samwise) who helped keep our
spirits alive knowing that his discomfort and dwindling hope was shared
and known by me. We pushed along until we finally reached the top of
Timp ridge, where we finished what water we had left, but couldn't
stay long because we were sweaty and needed to stay warm - still about
a mile short and 500 feet down from the very tip top. We began hiking
across the ridge toward the summit when the trail went up and over the
west side of the top of the ridge, and that revealed one of the most
beautiful sights I had ever seen. We stopped and gazed over the Utah
valley, from Nephi to South Salt Lake, saw all of the lights as if we
were looking from an airliner, turned to each other and gave big jubilant high fives. We were finally getting close to the summit! The trail got
obscure and we ended up taking the wrong way, had to backtrack a bit
(in the mean time trying to still beat the sunrise) but thankfully
another hiker showed us the way up to the summit where we watched the
sun come up and wash our fears away. We sat up on top inside the
small shelter and enjoyed about 30 minutes of pure satisfaction and
contentment. The sun warmed our noses and ears and really brightened
our spirits. We were happy as clowns going back down and across the
ridge knowing that we had made it to the top, having conquered some of
the most unfavorable circumstances that the month of August could
throw at us (if it had rained or something I don't think we would have
made it). We sped-walked the whole way down, visiting from time to
time with people hiking up to the waterfalls and other scenic
locations along the trail, we did some stopping of our own at
waterfalls and overlooks where we took some nice pictures. the overall experience was scary enough to keep us fascinated, and enjoyable enough to make us want to do it again. 

Long live the annual timp hike!!

patience has no...............end

i've never been the kind to sit around and wait. if i want something i'll go out and get it. if i'm going to do something i'll go do it. i don't wait around. i'm horrible at waiting for people to come to my level and join me. i'm a people person, but i'm also independent enough that i don't need people around me to have fun. though i'm learning more and more that i do need people. i need people to help me progress. and that's what i'm not being patient with. i can't force or rush someone to be where i am. i'm understanding that i've just got lots more life experience than people around me, and i need to be patient with everything around me. 

Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting, that's laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow...that is patience.

the motivation

one of my favorite movies is pixar's UP. the adventure book in there has always stood out to me as something way cool. and i've wanted to get something like that going, but never have. this blog is my adventure book. i've got lots of pages to fill...

beginning of living

I've never blogged before. For years i've always been under the impression that blogs are for married people only, and that the wife does it. judge me how you will, but look at every blog you can find and i'm guessing most are of married couples, and it's run by the wife. that's just fine. but that's my reasoning for not blogging. i'm getting started though. i love the life i have, and i live what i love. i'm going to start documenting these stories, and hopefully they'll be entertaining to you, and memorable for me.