1 year later...

October 22-23, 2009 was the worst couple days of my life, and i figure it's now time to write about it and let others see what exactly those days were like. It's been a year later, and those were the worst days of my life, and this has by far been the hardest year of my life. My dear friend Robi was quickly taken from us.

                                           he was always smiling, and making others smile. always.

The fall semester of 2009 quickly became my favorite couple months ever. I was living with my closest friends and family all around me. There were 21 of us in 3 houses. we called the houses the Nina, Pinta, and the Santa Maria. Collectively we were known as the Armada. One weekly tradition that was favored by all was our pancake breakfast thursdays. Me, Robi, Durfey, and Tom all had no classes on thursdays, so we'd be outside with couches, griddles, waffle irons, loud music, and more, cooking up pancakes for all our friends and everyone else that would walk by on the street. we'd often call out to every person that was on their way to campus. usually we just got weird looks. but we'd also get lots of people to stop by and have breakfast. because none of us had classes on thursday, we'd be outside all day long. pancake breakfast would usually turn in to hamburger lunch, and then chicken kabob dinners. thursdays were the best day of the week.

                                            with a bunch of friends during pancake breakfast

Thursday October 22nd was just like every other thursday. the night before, me, tom, durf, and robi all slept out in front of the tv watching a movie. we woke up at our usual time for breakfast 7:55, and we all quickly noticed robi sleeping in the love sac. it seemed as though the love sac had swallowed his legs. we saw a head and torso, but no legs. so the other 3 of us quickly (sarcastically, and probably annoyingly) became way concerned with robi asking if he was okay, and kept pointing out that robi had lost his legs. we all quickly got up and started moving things out for another (what he expected to be) normal pancake breakfast.

                                        durf wore his wings, robi found his legs, and I was Sam

Pancake breakfast was great. We had all the usuals stop by. and then we watched all the other usuals that just walked by no matter how loud and bluntly we yelled. that was half the fun, just trying to get more people over. trying to get new people every time. after several hours of us just being outside, carefree, loving life, we decided to go longboarding. Durfey had told us of some monster hills in lindon that he'd done growing up. he mentioned it about a month earlier, but it was just today that we decided we should actually head up that way. so we waited for Sean to get done with class around 130 and then had to stop at sonic. it was just about happy hour, and we love our Rt. 44 cokes.

                                              Robi, Durf, and Tom at sonic during happy hour.

While at sonic, Sean put a "50cent corndog" sign on tom's back and we all laughed. we pointed it out to the girl that brought out our food and she told tom that he looked delicious. when he found it, we all laughed even harder as he laughingly got mad. it was great.
We then headed up to Lindon to find the big hills. After about a 20 minute drive, we found some. we found some things that were incredibly steep looking. sean didn't want to ride because he had just recently wrecked and was still recovering. Tom wouldn't ride because he's already broken a collar bone, wrist, and elbow from longboarding. And i didn't want to ride because i knew there was no way i'd make it down. so i drove robi's truck right behind him and Durf as they were going down the hills. The whole reason we were out was because Robi had just bought himself some brand new trucks that were super sensitive and could turn on a dime. they were ridiculous. Robi and Durf did a couple big hills with relative ease. then we went up to a different hill.
When we got to the top of the next hill and looked down, we realized that only Durf had grabbed his helmet. We normally do wear helmets when we ride. but today, in our rush to leave, Robi had forgotten to get his. He said he'd be just fine, at the top of the hill. Even after Durf was saying he had a buddy just a couple blocks away we could go get a helmet from. Robi still insisted he'd be okay. He did one more hill and then we went to the next one over. it was a great looking hill. obviously steep, but also a pretty smooth road.
Robi and Durf started going down it, with me tom and sean following real close in the truck. we were maybe 15-20 feet behind them, making sure no cars would come from behind us and hit them. a couple hundred hards down the road they were gaining lots of speed. Durfey was going much quicker and seemed to be flying down the hill. we were much closer to Robi now and watched him, going 34 mph catch the speed wobbles and have the board shoot out from under him to the right, making him go down straight on his back and head. He crashed at 4:05. Before he had even come to a complete rolling stop, me tom and sean were all at his side holding him. he was still breathing, but barely. I immediately called 911 and had them coming up. i also started shouting to some people doing yardwork and they ran inside and sent out a lady, Becky Walker. She was a registered nurse and was then helping Robi breathe and just doing what she could until the paramedics arrived. Thankfully, the paramedics were there within 45 seconds of me placing the call. Within 5 minutes after that, there was a helicopter ready to take Robi. Though it wasn't for at least 20 minutes that they loaded him in Life Flight. Before they could load him in the Helo, they had to stabilize his breathing, and that was taking a long time. Right after i called 911, i grabbed Robi's phone and called (his parents) Kris and Nancy. They asked where they were going to take him, and told me they'd jump on Del's plane and fly right up.
Durfey made it all the way to the bottom of the hill, and then heard sirens, so he hid in the church parking lot. He thought someone had called the police because we were doing something illegal, or who knows what. But then saw it was ambulances, he ran up the hill to see the heartbreak. There were 3 or 4 firetrucks that showed up. A few ambulances, and several several police cars and trucks. When Durfey got up to us, we were all very somber, but also all felt the impression that Robi would be okay. I've been with someone when they wreck before and had a massive concussion, and that's what i thought this would be. In the back of my head i kept thinking "what if he doesn't live through this?" But i didn't think that was actually going to happen. I thought he'd be in the hospital for a couple weeks and then be just fine. None of us really thought that this crash had just taken the captain of our Armada. I don't know how we were, but somehow we seemed a bit jovial through this. sneaking pictures of all the commotion thinking Robi would appreciate the hullabaloo he had caused. We wanted to document it.
After Robi was flying away in the Life Flight, sweet Becky Walker then came and tended to us. telling us we needed to go get something to eat and telling us a few other things we needed to do because we were in shock. so after things were being cleared up and we knew where they were taking Robi, we loaded up in the truck and drove down the hill to Macey's and got some candy and sodas and things. We then started heading up to the University of Utah hospital to meet up with Robi and his family there. the four of us were bombarded by calls and texts from everyone catching wind of what had happened and wanted to know. We all were so frustrated with it that we just turned our phones off. it was getting very overwhelming. we would fill people in when we knew more. but there was already a large group of people that were headed up to the hospital to meet us there. Robi was a huge part in everyone's life, and everyone wanted to be there for him for when he woke up. The 4 of us then got to the hospital and just waited in the waiting room area and were met by Mikey and Sharlen, and also Steven (Robi's brother in law) and his wife. After lots more waiting, Steven came in and told us he had heard from the doctor and said it wasn't looking good at all. Despite hearing this, we all thought he'd still make it through. We've seen Robi be in complete control of everything he's ever done. We've seen him pull through some situations where there was absolutely no feasible way that he should have. We've seen him do the impossible countless times. Why should now be any different? We met up with everyone else that came to the hospital and waited up in the head trauma intensive care waiting area. SO many people showed up. It was incredible. Steven and his wife then came and met us all there and told us that Robi wouldn't make it. He suffered too much trauma to his brain, and wouldn't be able to recover. This is when all of us just broke down. I think there were about 20 of us and every single one of us just collapsed into tears. we all kind of scattered throughout the floor weeping. our group was found in every single corner and hallway crying and sobbing for the loss. we then went around gathering everyone back and sharing in monstrous hugs and more outpours of tears. i've never heard anything in my life more traumatic and heartbreaking than that news there.
I then went around calling all the other people that needed to be filled in. Calling all my dear friends who also knew and cherished Robi. I thought it was impossible news to hear, delivering it was even worse. I had to do it several times that night. More than i could bear. after the phone calls, several more people were now on their way up to see Robi one last time.
We were then told that we'd be able to go in and see Robi one last time and say our goodbyes. There was a long line of us waiting in the hallway. Robi's parents were in the room with him, there for everyone as they came in. As me and tom were sitting in the hallway, crying, we saw our cousin Paul walk by. He's working his residency at the U hospital right now, and was actually one of the people that was tending to Robi. There were several accidents that night, and Paul didn't know which one we were there for. so he couldn't tell us anything. That was hard to see him, and know that he was helping our "invincible" friend.
Me and Thomas went in together to see Kris, Nancy, and Robi. It was heart wrenching. I had to tell them that i was the one that called them. Had to tell them the story of how it all happened. Had to answer all their questions. It was so difficult. And then it was time to take Robi's hand, give him a hug, tell him how much i loved him and would miss him. we were all a complete mess in that room. I don't know how kris and nancy did it, but they were absolute stalwarts and were there comforting us as we were in the room. The long embraces they gave us, and the comforting words were so heartfelt. I will never forget that exchange that took place in that room in that, the darkest moment of my life. Saying goodbye to Robi was impossible. He lay there so calm, so peaceful. Just like he was all the other moments i've known him. Somehow he still seemed to exude a feeling of control. He was prepared, just like he was in every other adventure we'd encountered.
After saying our goodbyes, we didn't know what to do. Which was the case for the next several weeks. we were all so lost. all so confused. so we all went back to the Santa Maria and had a fire in the backyard to which 30 people were there waiting. it was now easily past 1 AM, but being so lost and confused, it didn't matter. We didn't know what to do. so we did what was comfortable, and sat around the fire with each other. using every single shoulder that was there to lean and cry on. that was an impossible night. we had several people all pile in to the TV room later so that nobody would sleep alone.
The way everyone bonded from this, and through this is indescribable. It's not until you go through something like this do you really realize how great those people are around you.
Robi taught me several things. He taught me countless things. His sudden passing just teaches me one more thing. He teaches me that i've got to be ready in all situations. Robi was living his life acceptable before God. I use him as an example of how i should live my life. Robi is the reason i live the way i do. Robi is my driving force now, to do everything i do. Everything i do needs to get me somewhat closer to returning to him. The captain of our Armada, went home to create the shiz out of worlds with the original Armada leader, Christopher Columbus himself. Someday i'll return there too, and i'll have Robi there to show me around, show me the secrets and congratulate me in a life well lived. Someday i'll have Robi with me to continue our adventures. And for that moment, i can not wait...